


if that's something you're into

by iphigenias



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 600 words of patrick being gay, Episode: s04e01 Dead Guy in Room 4, M/M, coming out to yourself is healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28731444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iphigenias/pseuds/iphigenias
Summary: Patrick breathes out and thinks about David’s shoulders under his sweater. His soft, broad hands. The scratch of his stubble against Patrick’s when they kissed, like sandpaper, maybe, only that makes it sound rough and it wasn’t.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 64
Kudos: 182





	if that's something you're into

**Author's Note:**

> two minutes in this fandom and i just have a lot of patrick feelings ! realising you are gay is healing ! this is the shortest fic i've written in years ! 
> 
> title from kacey musgraves: so, make lots of noise / kiss lots of boys / or kiss lots of girls / if that's something you're into

Patrick waits until the clock ticks over from 4:59 to 5:00 before getting out of bed. It’s still dark outside but the day is already warm, and he’s sweaty from lying sleepless between sheets since midnight.

David kissed him.

He kissed David back.

He takes a shower because he knows it won’t wake Ray up. The spray is this side of too hot, and Patrick uses the lemongrass and coconut bodywash David had pressed into his hands while they were setting up the store. “I can smell the drugstore chemicals from here,” he’d said, and when Patrick took the bottle their fingers brushed. David was wearing the black Givenchy with the zips up the sides and his face had done this funny thing when Patrick thanked him: a small smile, trying very hard not to grow bigger. Kind of like how he’d looked last night in Patrick’s car.

Patrick washes his hair, scrubs behind his knees, and wipes the condensation from the shower screen once he’s shut off the spray. The mirror is misted over when he steps onto the bathmat and Patrick wipes a thick streak clear with the palm of his hand.

He looks the same as he’s always done; chest and shoulders lobster-red from the water. Ears that stick out a little too much and his dad’s stubborn chin. His hair, still wet, looks like it wants to curl.

The Patrick in the mirror looks at the Patrick in Ray’s bathroom, and says, to the empty, 5:00 am, Ontario air: “I’m gay.”

The world doesn’t end. Outside, a red cardinal welcomes the day. Patrick breathes out and thinks about David’s shoulders under his sweater. His soft, broad hands. The scratch of his stubble against Patrick’s when they kissed, like sandpaper, maybe, only that makes it sound rough and it wasn’t. It was gentle. David is gentle with Patrick, and Patrick wants him to be. He wants David to be other things too:

Tender; teasing; horny; happy; safe. The last two most of all.

Patrick makes his coffee at 5:30 and finishes two cups before fishing the cereal from his shelf in the cupboard. He drinks a third after his muesli and thinks about David’s hands again, the way they felt on Patrick’s face, the way they might feel on his body. He thinks so hard about David’s hands the coffee goes cold in his [Aristurtle](https://www.redbubble.com/i/mug/Philostuffers-by-WyrmKnave/10866855.9Q0AD) mug.

At 6:00 Patrick goes for a run, past the motel that he doesn’t look at, past the café and the shop, running until he reaches a place he hasn’t been before and then stops, flops down onto the grass, laughing at the thought of David finding him here, what he would say.

It’s nice. The sky is lightening and the grass is dry but still green and to the Schitt’s Creek dawn Patrick on the ground says, “I’m gay,” and the sun keeps rising. He brings his hands to his face and laughs into them, shoulders shaking in the grass, and feels more alive than he has in months. Than he has in … forever?

This is what they meant, when they said butterflies, Patrick thinks. It’s not just a metaphor.

At Ray’s Patrick will take another shower and dress for the day. He’ll calm his hands by putting away the dishes and making his bed and will open the store early. He’ll wait for David, David who kissed him, David with his hands and shoulders and mouth Patrick doesn’t have to look away from anymore because he is allowed to want and he wants David. In every stumbling way he can. 

Now, Patrick lies in the grass. A red cardinal lands on the fence post to his right. “I’m gay,” Patrick tells him, and the bird tilts his head, watching. Patrick laughs and feels it to his toes.

**Author's Note:**

> @[svnsvstvrk](https://twitter.com/svnsvstvrk) on twitter


End file.
